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Showing posts from September, 2020

Hukum ITU Objektif

Poniyem  seorang  ibu  pensiunan   pergi  sendiri  dengan  speed boat   ke tempat  yang  terlarang  untuk  memancing. Dan  secara  kebetulan  kepergok  oleh  petugas. Petugas : “Selamat  siang  ibu.” Poniyem : “Selamat  siang.” Petugas : "Tahukah  Ibu  kalau  di tempat  ini  dilarang  memancing ...?" Poniyem : "Ya ...,  saya tahu." Petugas : “Kalau  begitu  saya  akan  menangkap  ibu ...,  karena  ibu  memancing  di tempat  yang  terlarang.” Poniyem : “Apa  pasalnya ...,  apakah  ada  tanda-tanda  kalau  saya  mau  memancing ...?”,  protes  Poniyem. Petugas : “Itu ...,  ibu  kan  bawa  alatnya.” Poniyem : “Kalau begitu ...,  saya  juga  akan  melaporkan  Bapak ...” Petugas: " Ibu  mau   laporkan  saya  tentang  apa ...??” Poniyem : “Saya  akan  laporkan  ... Bapak akan  memperkosa  saya ...” Petugas : “Memang  ada  tanda-tanda  saya  mau  memperkosa  ibu ...,  menyentuh  saja ...,  tidak”. Poniyem : “Tapi kan  Bapak  bawa  alatnya ...!!!”   🤭🤭🤭🤫

Just M.P.

My Last Job Interview. Officer : What is your name? Me :  M.P. sir Officer : In full please Me :  Marvin Paul Officer : Your father's name? Me :  M.P. sir Officer : What does that mean? Me :  Martin Paul Officer : What is your qualification? Me :  M.P. Officer : (angry) What is that?!!! Me :  Maths and Physics Officer : So why do you need a job? Me :  It is because of M.P. sir Officer : Meaning? Me :  Money Problem Officer : Would you explain yourself and stop wasting my time? What's your personality like? Me : MP sir. Officer :  And what is that? Me :  Marvelous Personality Officer : I see... I will get back to you. Me :  Sir, how was M.P. sir? Officer : And what's that again? Me :  My Performance. Officer :  I think you have M.P. Me :  What’s that? Officer :  Mental Problem!!! Don't laugh alone. Send this to M.P. (Many People) those are saved in your M.P. (Mobile Phone) to put a smile on their faces. I have sent this to u because u are M.P. (My Pren).  😂😂😂

DAMN Cheated 😝

Sharing from a close friend: I know a girl on the Internet. Beautiful, and sexy ... After some chat, I feel attracted.   Yesterday she asked me to go to her house and said: My husband is on a business trip, I’m alone. I am very cautious and Asked: Will the husband suddenly come back? She said: No. Just in case he does. You just say: You are from the cleaning company. The company sent you to clean. Rubbing the glass or something. Anyway, the New Year is coming. My husband won't doubt it. Result I was at her house, and a big coincidence. Not even minutes in the house. Her husband is back. I haven't even touched her hand yet. I have to be quiet and pretend to do cleaning, wiping windows, clean the kitchen and floor. Also tidy the bedrooms and wash the bathroom .... His husband is next to me giving all kinds of instructions. When finished and about to leave. Her husband asked: How much? She said: I have already paid the company. On the way home. The more I think about it, the more

Beruntungnya Jadi Wanita Simpanan Ke-3

Dak nyangko ... Seorang istri habis bertengkar dengan suaminya.  Kepengen nangis di tempat mertua.  Tetapi gengsi.  Nangis di rumah juga gengsi. Karena ortu-nya tak setuju mereka menikah. Tiba-tiba dia teringat kenapa tidak ke rumah duka (tempat persemayaman orang meninggal) dan menangis sepuasnya. Menangis di sana pasti enggak ada orang yang merasa heran. Lalu dia pun mencari tempat persemayaman seorang kakek yang baru saja meninggal,  lalu dia berlutut menangis sejadi-jadinya dan sepuas-puasnya untuk melepaskan himpitan hatinya. Di samping jenazah kakek tua itu ada 2 wanita setengah baya saling berpandangan dan mengumpat pelan, "Dasar tua-tua bangkotan,  ternyata masih ada wanita simpanan ke-3 ...." Mereka pun kasak-kusuk berdua, selanjutnya berjalan ke arah wanita itu dan memapahnya berdiri,  sambil menghibur, "Adik ke-3 sudahlah.  Kami melihat kamu menangis dengan sangat sedih.  Sepertinya kamu juga sangat kehilangan .... jadi kami sudah bermusyawarah dan memutuska